I've been lazy posting recently, the general grind of work has worn me down a little and the motivation to write has been waning. So the obvious course of action was to go on FaceBook and ask folks what to write about.
Thambu Sensei replied with motivation, he sent me an article of his own that he wrote and I will do my up most to be a frank and honest as he was in his.
Why do I train? It certainly isn't the easy option, I could just go home and watch the TV or even maybe go to the gym, for a run, or perhaps play squash. Anyone who trains and has a partner will realise the pressures it can put on relationships, not only the weekends away training, but the weekly evenings and mornings where you are not at home. We owe it to them to train hard, and make that 'lost' time something worth while.
It would certainly be easier to stop and take up a more main stream and less demanding 'hobby' (I do hate it when people call it that).
I don't think I ever really started Aikido because I was fearful in my daily life of muggings and physical assault. That being said, I do believe that Aikido should be effective and demanding. Interestingly enough, I do wonder what some of the external perceptions of Aikido are of those that do not practice. I'm sure that fitness and general body conditioning in Aikido dojo are not as good as those in other Budo like Judo for example. Perhaps because of the lack of a competitive element (except Tomiki Ryu) means we get lazy and allow ourselves to focus to much on technique and finer points but forgetting that conditioning (the right conditioning) is essential for the combat effectiveness of our Budo. We know that our fitness is not likely to be challenged in the same way that it is in Judo Randori, and as we feel that are not going to be 'exposed' as weak, therefore we do nothing about it. That being said, the Budo of the Bushi (Samurai), is what we have inherited, and are we (am I) doing it justice every time we (I) step on the mat.
I can be honest and say that my fitness is terrible and it is something that I want to sort out, I do not want to make excuses for my art. Although it should not matter what others think, I have to be honest with myself and I know that fitness and conditioning for Aikido does in fact matter. It matters a lot. However, I feel that I am parting slightly with the original purpose, why do I train.
Aikido, for me, is a drug. I largely believe it has no ill side effects, other than I need to 'take it' more. If I do not take it, then I get frustrated (like I am today, having been snowed out of the dojo yesterday). I will at times put training above other important events. I remember being told once "We should train to live, not live to train", a great axiom and one that I should remind myself of my often.
I really like something that Thambu Sensei says in his article, which is that he believes he is a custodian of his Aikido. That he does not own it, and that he has a duty to pass it on. Although I would never presume to draw any parallels between myself and an amazing Aikidoka like Thambu Sensei, I do believe I have a duty to do right by the art to which I have fused myself. I love that fact that Aikido is Japanese, that in some twisty and windy way it is related to the Samurai, and I see nothing wrong in loving that romantic dream as long as you know it's a dream. Aikido is repetitive, frustrating and hard... it requires a change in body and mind and it plays in my head all the time. Subtle shifts in body movement, imperceptible to the unaware is the difference between the regular and the dedicated. Having for the last 3 years been studying Iaido and Jodo, I have discovered a further and exciting link between Aikido and the past, and that my body allows me to access a past way of life. I really love that.
I love the way Aikido makes me feel, when I am thrown and get thrown. I love the magic and annoyance of being thrown well, and I mean really well, by the best in the world and wanting... no thirsting for the knowledge and ablility to do that. How do they do that?? I enjoy the moment when a technique clicks... even if it is just for a moment and the flash of understanding and the next layer of the technique that is revelled.
Finally, I love the friends I have made. An interesting bond with people that, when you knock the hell out of each other and you BOTH leave the dojo stronger for it. You push each other (or we should) to the very edge of safety and sanity, testing the form to it's most and being satisfied that you are at least on the path, although not very far along it.
Aikido at times means too much to me, and others not enough. I simply could not be without it.
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